with love from State Farm

I recieved a check the other day from State Farm for $1.75. And while I hate to look a gift horse, even such a small one, in the mouth I did wonder at this little bitty windfall. So I called my agent who informed me that this was due to my policy being cancelled. And when did I do that I asked. "Well we did this back in March Mr. Johnson."

Why pray tell are you cancelling my insurance ?

Your oldest son had two tickets and a chargeable accident in six months time.

Really?

Yes sir, really.

Well, I can't argue with that but I never recieved a notice so now what.

After some scrambling the nice young lady comes on and tells me that since I did not recieve a notice my insurance would not be cancelled but, in another year, my oldest son would have to look elsewhere for car insurance. I passed along this opportunity for growth to my son with a smile and a "welcome to the real world" grin.

The Punisher

Would that you got to at least wear the cool costume of The Punisher when you were called for to "punish". But instead it usually happens when you are standing in your underwear giving three kids a bath. Trying to keep my sense of humor is always my first line of "why in the flip did you do that" coming out of my mouth, but it is not always the case. Recently one of my boys was very very disrespectful to his Mom, and she got him right where he lives, the cell phone. It just went "blink" and now it is just a big timepiece for his pocket. Having to deal with this kind of stuff is not mentioned in the "parenting is great" brochure, maybe it is in the terms and condiditons section that none of us read when we sign up for a service or product, kind of like the owners manual. Wouldn't that be the biggest kick in the head, if in all that crap paperwork they give you when you are leaving the hospital with your little squalling bolonga loaf there was a checklist to follow so your son or daughter would grow up to be the next Mother Teresa or Mahatma Ghandi, but since we don't as a rule deal with the details well we get Teresa the waitress or Apu the slushy machine operator. Sigh,

Oh well, sometimes parenting is like field dressing a deer, you know it has to be done but you also know that your going to be getting something nasty on your clothes to get it done.

Be strong, and use spray and wash on your "deer stains".

back to the blog

Alright, I'll do it. I'll start writing again. Sometimes though I just havea hard time writing anything that I think is profound. Or worth the time to read. All I can really hope to do is make someone who reads this go, "man, at least I am not that crazy/messy/stressed of a dad. That would be fine. I guess. I'm not sure. But to give this some frame of reference we'll probably just march our way slowly through teh alphabet. Next post will be simpley "A".

Summer Camp

Every year I go with my boys on their boy scout summer camp trip. This year the troop decided to go to southeastern Oklahoma, in the summer. By day three you begin to realize that there was a reason that Lord of the Flies was written about a bunch of school age boys with no adult supervision. Showers were something heard of in a fable, tooth brushes were to be used to clean knives, hairbrushes sat unattended in the bottom of the pack as after all we are wearing hats. In order to save our female members of the family too much mental anguish we do encourage the boys to take the night before we go home shower. You can almost hear the shower floor weep when this is done.

But we are home now, and the camp gear is airing out in the garage, for now.

Hey, we just met!!

I had to have some shots into my spine for a sledding related injury. Wearing my gown of shame I headed into the procedure room, but still wearing my boxers per the nurses instruction. Once up on the table laying on my stomach a young nurse goes over and yanks my boxers down past mid cheek! My only response, "normally this requires dinner and some dancing." Her response, "no kiss, no hug".

Is this healthcare reform ???

new car for son = new $$ from Dad

My oldest son has purchased his first new car, heck it is nicer than the car I drive. So I am trying to figure out, in my Ward Cleaver way, why the @#$ am I supposed to keep paying for the insurance? My bride (June) assures me that this is only temporary, but that is the first part of the title for my defense

temporary insanity

Sled + pole = time in hospital

We couldn't afford snowboarding for the kids on the first day of 2010. It was going to be $80 per person and at 10 participants that was going to get a little pricey really quick. So, instead we go sledding on Suicide Hill with family. The afternoon is going great and we are having a good time. I noticed my two year old is wanting to slide down the hill but no on is letting her hitch a ride. Wanting to make sure she is having fun and not just cold I put her on a snow tube with me and down the slower looking run we go. And it was slower, until we hit that ice patch and took off. I sat her off the tube (don't remember doing it but my brother in laws assure me they saw me do it) right before the crunch of power pole meets my ribs.

Crud, this is not going to be a good start to the new year.